Me love you long time

What is it about being alone that is frightens women into compromising themselves for man? I know I've made a big assumption there, but what else could it be? Ok, I'd admit that some would be motivated by money, but for the most part it's the fear of loneliness.

In Asia, marriage is considered a sign of a successful life, age is considered a liability and intelligence is considered undesirable on a woman. With those kinds of pressures it's no wonder there's an abundance of amazing women hooking up with bottom of the barrel loser guys.

These are amazing women who have to dumb themselves down to be more desirable. They feel compelled to giggle excessively and pretend to have interests equal to their mates. They must be made up perfectly at all times and go out of their way in service of these guys.

These are guys who treat them poorly, guys who cheat regularly, guys who are jerks, dickheads, obnoxious, sleazy, and pervie... They put up with it just to have a bit of company. To make sure they're not alone for their b'days or holidays?

Rather than accepting these guys, I've chosen the alternative. I've chosen to be alone. And while it may seem sad on the outside, I believe I've made the happier choice.

The Women of Yesterday Today

My time in Asia has been quite an eye opening experience in a number of ways. One bit of knowledge I'm taking away with me is the state of the whole women's progress movement in this region. Frankly, I don't think there is one.

Living in the US, you sort of buy into the portrayal of the strong nuclear family with an equally strong mother figure. One with equal decision making power or even the entire upper hand. But it isn't like that at all for most women.

Women in most places of the world, are still being held under the proverbial thumbs of man.

- In the Caribbean, domestic violence against women is rampant and the problem ignored.

- In the Arab states, women aren't allowed to open a bank account without the written permission of a man.

- In Africa, everyone knows about women circumcision and the raping of virgin girls to cure AIDS.

- In China, well in China they're still killing off their girl babies aren't they? or maybe they've just completely switched to giving them away to the Americans.

- And in Japan, professional women are still made to fetch tea for men in the workplace. What's up with that?

So yeh, although I am so pleased being a woman of the 21st century with all the choices and independence it affords me, I am very much aware the women of yesterday are here today. Yup, I'm aware.

Vietnam Memorable Moments

I had such a fabulous time in Vietnam. I had magical moments, funny moments, scary moments, somber moments. I was chuckling to myself about this particular story involving toilets. This isn't gross, I promise.

So I'm using the bathroom in the hotel room, and I see a sign that says "Do not flush the paper". So I think to myself "well, there's no paper towels in here anyway. so don't know why they need that sign." and I keep using the bathroom as normal.

So my friend Ing says "ah Deirdre? have you been flushing the toilet paper?" And I go "well, YEhhhh." She says " in Asia, you shouldn't flush the toilet paper. the plumbing can't handle it in most places." She said " you put the paper in the trash and use the hose to wash if you do more than pee." So I say "OK" but I think " WHATEVAH, I'm not doing that".

So at about 3am, I wake up to use the bathroom per usual and I do the usual. Wouldn't you know? The toilet started to overflow! OMG I was so shocked and mad at myself for being so stubborn. Nooooow what do I do? So I weigh my options. Option 1 - Go get help and admit I did wrong. Option 2 - Go back to bed and pretend nothing ever happened.

So I did the honorable thing and went for help. I was so embarrassed but luckily Ing slept through the whole thing and never got a chance to say "I told you so". And to be honest, that's all that really matters. I did get scolded by the owner the very next day though. Darn!

Outside of that, the things that I will always remember are captured in the pictures below.

The Scenes

The Poverty

The Coffee... with condensed milk

The life threatening traffic

The Shoppiiiiiing

Dee's Top 10 Amendments

Yeh I knew this would happen. Complaints! Well I'm only human so let's make amends.


First, this is Ryu. I already messed up the roll call so I can't give him a number. Let's just say he's so important that no number can equal him... ok that's a bit of a stretch. Anyway I call him my Japanese first love. He was one of my very first friends when I moved here. He helped me immensely in selecting my apartment (which he insists on reminding me of every chance he gets). I think I make him nervous with my forwardness but ironically I think he enjoys it... a lot. ;-) He's the stingiest person that I know. hehehe.



Now, my dear friend Chika didn't like the description I gave her. She said it needed more"flower". So this is what we came up with... hehehe

"Chika smells soo nice if you hold her; moreover, when you touch her, you feel like you're in heaven... with flowers". hahaha I told you she makes me laugh too too much.

Anywho, for giving me so much trouble, I'm uploading a clip I have of her doing her cute little dance. Yeh, I'm bad. (^_^)

Dee's Top 10 Boys

Yeh I'm a little bit sexist. I believe women are the superior gender. Is there a problem?
Still I might be sexist but I'm fair. And it wouldn't be fair for me to leave out the special guys in my life. So here they are...

#10. David - Husband of Shamim, luxury goods is this Londoner's business. He's very posh and proper with lots of knowledge about the finer things in life. Still he can hang with the rest of us as he raps flawlessly to Eminem (his favorite rapper). A great chef and a savvy businessman, he's the most gentlemanly gentleman I know.



#9. Ian - Also British. Likes to make music and poke fun at me in his spare time =) Able to put a room of people at ease, he makes an awesome MC. He captures your attention when he speaks and gives really good speeches whenever he's asked... or not asked. He's the most charismatic man that I know.

#8. Sam - Fluent in Japanese and half Filipino, he provides much comfort to me being one of the few black professionals in Japan. Unfortunately he got relocated to London... well I guess not so unfortunately because I've been invited to visit. YaY. Anyway he'll be back. His heart is Japanese and Japan misses him. He's the jazziest kat I know.

#7. Roger - Yes this is my manager... well my ex-manager now. But I felt like I hit the jackpot with him as a manager. I regard him as my dad away from home. Born and raised on a farm in New Zealand he has an endless stock of amazing and funny stories. He's the zaniest grown man that I know.




#6. Borre - From the land of Norway, this guy is afraid to fly. hehehe, ok that's not funny. He cracks me up all the time. His humor isn't of the obvious kind but I totally get him and he totally gets me. He let's me pinch his cheeks although he doesn't particularly enjoy it. He's the most laid back guy that I know.

#5. Jason - Also fluent in Japanese and also a black professional in Japan, I look up to this guy. (and not just because he's tall). He's a networking phenomenon, he knows everyone and everyone wants to know him. His jokes are loud and his laugh is infectious. He's the jolliest guy that I know.

#4. Brandon - He is all geek and all good. Incredibly smart and inquisitive, he can be very annoying. But we enjoy exchanging witty or downright silly banter inside and outside of the office. He is the "most likely to succeed" person I know.




#3. Simon - Husband of Ing. He's one of those guys that can do anything he puts his mind to. He's a wonderful artist, loves technology, has a great eye for interior design, and very good with all things that involves mathematics and puzzles. He's one of my hiking buddies and the most versatile person I know.




#2. Abdus - Born in Mauritius and raised in London. I love his Londoner blue collar accent. Because he's Muslim he's the worst restaurant companion. His religion restricts him from a lot of the fun foods and his fitness kick restricts him from all of the rest. He did eat cake on my birthday though! shocking! He's the fittest person that I know.





# 1. Justin - Australian guy. Took me a looong time to warm up to him and look what position he's turned up on today. He has a passion for wine and Japanese ladies hehe. I've welcomed him into my inner circle of friends as he's become one of my top advisers - one who's opinion I value (even when I disagree). He has the most upright posture that I've ever seen.



THESE are my guys.

Barely Boarding

Japan is the perfect place for most all outdoor activities especially winter sports. Takes only a hour to get to the nearest mountain, which makes it easy to do weekend trips and day trips as many times as you care to.

I've been heading to the slopes once every year for the past 4 years. This year we went to the creme de la creme of snow resorts: Niseko. Known for Australians and oh yeh snow. But seriously, why are so many Australians here? I never really got to the bottom of that as I was busy tumbling down the slopes... head first mostly.

I hate skiing, I hate boarding, I hate snow, I hate cold. But still I do this to myself every year. Every year once I year I summon up all my courage and give it another go. I know you're asking the question. It's a question all my friends have asked me before. Deirdre, why do you keep going?

I'm not entirely sure really. But I think I'm hoping that this trip will be the turning point. This will be the trip where I return having loved it. So I keep hoping and I keep going. And I must say... this year... yeh this year I almost enjoyed it... ALMOST.

Stay Tuned for Next year's update!