Sumo

Went to my first Sumo tournament this month. This was one of the must-do items on my list and I was dying from excitement.

After you get over the initial "I can see your butt" shock, you start to feel like you're apart of something really special. It's not a diaper shoving contest. It is in fact a martial art with all the rituals and fighting techniques associated with one.

There is said to be hundreds of defined moves but only a few has won a match when used. Actually, I watched the matches very closely to see if I could identify some of those moves.

This is what I came up with:
1. the bulldozer
2. the bear hug
3. the diaper tug
4. the bitch slap
5. the stop, drop and roll
6. the ring around the poesy

But seriously, besides just being heavy and strong, they are surprisingly limber, shapely and flexible. They are also very superstitious. Wrestlers toss powdered salt over and over into the ring to purify it before they fight.

Not only that, but women are not allowed to enter or even touch the ring as it is considered unlucky. I don't know how they came to that conclusion but, with the fear of deportation, I didn't want to be the first to test it out.

That superstition will have to remain intact, at least for now.