Thursday, April 06, 2006


With all the rice and noodles I have to eat now, it's no surprise that I desperately need to hit the gym.

At first I planned to talk about how it took me 2 hours to get signed up as I struggled with the Japanese/English issue. Then I thought I could talk about the special locker rooms and gym etiquette. Then I would top it all off with a piece on the flat butts I have to stare at.

Instead, I just need to air my frustrations on the aerobic classes I've taken. Besides feeling like a deaf girl taking an aerobics class - as the instructions are all in Japanese - I just can't get a proper workout.

First, I took a beginners class to sort of ease into the whole get in shape thing. But the extent of the routine was "grapevine, pivot, spin, march". 45 minutes of this and I didn't even sweat. I was very disappointed.

The second time I decided to do a higher level. Surely, the higher the level, the better the workout, the more in pain I should be. Right? But not here - oh no no no. Here, the various levels only indicate how dizzy you will be afterwards.

"Pivot, spin, grapevine, twirl, and mambo and twirl, and mambo and spin..."

"Huh? Am I missing something here? Exactly which muscles are we working?
Please can we do just one crunch or a push up? Pretty please. How about a squat?" I begged silently.

Now that I really think about it, the different levels must indicate the degree of gayness in the male instructors. I've been instructed my many guys over the years and never have I been told to "mambo and twirl". Oh I get it now! The higher the level, the greater the gayness and, hence, an increase in the number of spins.

Alrighty then, why didn't you just say so? Where's the yoga class?! :-s

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