Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Toilet Shower

This section is dedicated to the famous "electric toilet inventor" man... Whatshisface.

I've seen three types of toilets here. First is the western style. This is the one that we all know and love.

Second is the traditional Japanese Style. I saw one once and was too scared to use it but managed to take a picture for my readers. It's basically a hole in the ground - a toilet with no seat. I took one look at that thing and in a split second I realized that that is not something I want to try. Only two things could happen to me in that stall. Either I stoop too low and fall right into the hole or I don't stoop low enough and spray myself. Both are Unacceptable!

Lastly is the mother of all toilet bowls - the modern Japanese style. I like to call it "The Mighty Throne", "The Full Service Seat" or "The Toilet Shower". It's amazing how many things it can do. You can adjust the seat temperature, which I'm keeping nice and warm all winter long. This seat can wash your butt, wash a woman's delicate area and then blows air to dry it all up. It also deodorizes while you use the seat. You can even change the flushing sounds and adjust the volume! Gosh, the only thing it doesn't do is pull up my undies afterwards.

Needless to say, these special chairs are very special to me. It's gotten to a point where I go out with friends and the food could be great, the company great, the music great, but if I go into the bathroom and see a western toilet... "What?! Where's the Electric Toilet?! What kind of DUMP is this place? I'm never coming back here again!"

But there's a story a coworker told me that I must share.

An old Japanese couple traveled to the UK to visit some family for the very first time. It's their first time outside of Japan. So when they get to the house, the old man goes to use the bathroom. Confused, he sh*ts all over the bidet and shouts "I can't get this darn toilet to flush!"
True Story

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